Umm I'm too high to move.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
