you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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