The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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