why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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