it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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