i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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