The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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