I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
