A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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