I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize