why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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