She is in my trunk
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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