The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
