sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
one might say we're banned from that church
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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