my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
