Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
