it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
