Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
