She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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