It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
