Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
