Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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