If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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