I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's blow job season.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
