is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
