You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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