I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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