and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
