Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
