when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize
