that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize