I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
