My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
