Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
