And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
