We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
