Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
