Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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