I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
