i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
