he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
