question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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