we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
