That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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