How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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