Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
