I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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