so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
