You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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