what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
