Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
