what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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