All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
