dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
