Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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