real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so explain again why im purple
no
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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