Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
