you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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