Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
