You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
