guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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